Friday, September 30, 2005

News roundup

Rank doesn't do this daily by any means, and thank God, but it's fun every once in a while to get into the nitty-gritty of the news and see what's noteworthy for ridiculousness...

Today we hear that, in order to lower the price of the diesel submarines that the Executive Yuan wants to buy from the US, Spain may be called on to manufacture the subs. This change comes after the price of the deal has already been slashed twice, and with some of the arms having been pushed out of the speial appropriations bill and into the regular military budget. Before all this is over, the US is going to sell Taiwan a pair of pop guns manufactured on an OEM basis in Lesotho. Tremble, ye Chinese invaders!

Spending 26 hours in a collapsed well is no fun: "...doctors said that he had inhaled a lot of dirt and was suffering from dehydration. As of press time, Liu was undergoing checkups for internal bleeding..."

Pan-blues think it's nice that the RMB and the NT will now be convertible in Kinmen and Matsu. But they'd like to go further. For example, we could all just exchange our NT for commie cash and call it a damn day!

Here's some sound advice from the weather bureau, considering that another typhoon is approaching: "The Central Weather Bureau (CWB) suggested yesterday that people in Taiwan come up with alternative recreational programs if they had mapped out outdoor plans for the weekend." Okay -- I just wish they'd provide a list of alternative recreational programs, because I'm not used to thinking of my weekends in quite that way. Suggestions, anyone?

I don't want to sound like a government-hating conservative, but this scares me: "The Executive Yuan is providing NTD 20 billion in subsidies from the Executive Yuan Development Fund over the next five years for the promotion of Taiwan's digital content, software and cultural/creative industries. In addition to these subsidies, the Industrial Development Bureau is also preparing to provide special financing for enterprises involved in the production of movies, television and digital content." It's not so much the money that frightens me -- it's more the idea of sitting through movies and TV shows that owe their existence to the braintrust of the Executive Yuan.

China's pronouncements on Uighurs in Xinjiang have a certain familiar tone, one that we in Taiwan have come to know and loathe. Same for Tibet, of course, and all the other places where the great glory of the Han is not automatically recognized as the world's civilizing light. I... oh, forget it.

Read it and weep: "A software company in Shenzhen, Guangdong Province, has developed 'Anti-Japan War Online'... 'We aim to nurture a national spirit in young people,' said Hao Xianghong, 36, the union's Network Film and Television Center's vice minister." In the pipeline: Taiwan Nuked!

Where have you heard something like this before? " Shanghai's plan has been to turn itself from an industrial city into a services, finance and transport hub." I feel an attack of indigestion coming on.

Dioxin duck eggs, an ancient Taiwanese specialty, are delicious.

When I learned that Chen Shui-bian would be visiting St. Vincent and the Grenadines, I had only one thing in mind: fabulous photos along the lines of those recently taken of him in Alaska. Alas, I've been disappointed so far. St. Kitts and Nevis was also a downer in the photo departmnt. I want A-bian looking at ice worms through a magnifying glass! I want him hugging a bear that's wearing pants! Those were the days!

1 comment:

Michael Turton said...

"The Central Weather Bureau (CWB) suggested yesterday that people in Taiwan come up with alternative recreational programs if they had mapped out outdoor plans for the weekend." Okay -- I just wish they'd provide a list of alternative recreational programs, because I'm not used to thinking of my weekends in quite that way. Suggestions, anyone?

ROFL. Wouldn't they have to come with a suggestion list of things to do first?

It's not so much the money that frightens me -- it's more the idea of sitting through movies and TV shows that owe their existence to the braintrust of the Executive Yuan.

Don't worry, I am sure there will be plenty of good fight scenes starring legislators from Taiwan.